- Meeting a specter on the road
- Asking “Why have you come back?”
- A wonderful, wonderful answer
- I have 6 new videos on my website
Dearest Forgiver of Impossible Things,
Sometimes, especially lately, we find ourselves walking down our own road – reasonably content perhaps – facing forward, headed into the known or unknown as the case may be, when we encounter another going the other way, carrying a great burden.
They seem a stranger but there’s something uncannily familiar in their face. As we pass shoulder-to-shoulder, the center of gravity of their burden suddenly shifts to our shoulders, spinning us ‘round into its sucking draft.
If this happens to you, quite suddenly you find yourself following a piper of the unpleasant past, listening to dissonant tones. Your forward view forgotten, the past rises up like specters of woe or pain.
What looms may be as yet unforgiven – a betrayal by another, or perhaps a memory of yourself in the errors of your own ways. Even those you have forgiven are sometimes seemingly back again. Maybe it’s a criticizing parent or an unloving spouse, a past tormentor. They plague and wrestle with you, bending your mind away from its forward axis.
Who is this stranger?
Who do we meet at such times? The disenfranchised. The waifs and wayward ones cast off along our way. The ones who wronged us stopping by for an uncomfortable visit once again, unwelcome but lingering on. Persons judged and banished crowding around now to have a last word.
Perhaps it’s an old pattern or addiction silenced in former times that activates once again. Or a period of wrong-doing, your big mistake, a deep fear, a fault, an inability, a crisis long moved beyond.
All these – the disenfranchised, conquered, over-come, released, corrected, stifled, vanquished, even the forgiven – now seemingly lifting like zombies with their staggers and groans and their horrible tales.
I met just such a specter-self recently. My poor frightened girl – a young woman of 17 kicked out of home by angry parents blaming her for the errors of their own affairs and alcoholism. I’ve mentioned her to you before.
Having lost the nurture and security of home and family, and the college plans within that, I was terrified about how to proceed, where to turn. Thrown into survival mode, I was approaching the cross-roads of young adulthood frightened and completely overwhelmed.
Yet many years ago – when they were still living and I was finally grown – I made peace and resolution with my parents who were ashamed and sorrowful of their actions, not feeling forgivable themselves. It was such a relief for each of us when we forgave it all – ourselves and one another, the ignorance and unkindness, our silence and distance, our angers and vows. Beautifully completed between us.
So why then was she coming toward me now, somewhat the worse for wear, ragged and feeling broken? I’d long ago resolved and forgiven yet here she was passing me on my way, dragging me back into the miasma of her self-doubt and insecurities. They threatened to engulf us both, it seemed.
I looked into her eyes, feeling again the weight of those times. I tried to shake her off as I’d done on occasions in the past when I wanted to just get on with things unencumbered, thank you very much.
I feared – as we often do in such a moment – that if she didn’t leave for good I would be sucked back into that quicksand. You know the feeling, right? It’s not as obvious as it sounds in writing… well, sometimes it is… but more often it’s a quiet inner struggle that comes and goes.
A wonderful, wonderful answer!
My specter-self rose in fresh torment, grasping at me – as fearful of a new crossroad as ever, as self-doubting. She seemed to fill the frame. “What is she doing back,” I wondered. What does she want?” Why was she here now in this way when I’ve advanced so greatly in my own growth and Light? I really wanted to know.
So I asked her. “Why are you back?” I asked.
Her answer is beautiful, it is brilliant, a wonder! She came, she said, for Love, for the Love I’d now become but hadn’t been back then. She came for my Love. For my Love! Do your eyes glisten with tears as mine did on hearing her reply? I threw open my arms and called to her in welcome, “Come!” She ran into my embrace.
I grasped her to my bosom, knowing her pain and her long, long walk back to my Love. “Welcome,” I told her, “I’ll never leave you behind again. Come, there’s plenty of room for you here in my heart, I love you so!”
The Love of my Being engulfed us then in its fullness of forgiveness. It always forgives the impossible things, the shameful things, the scary things, the lingering ones. Unlike my mind, the Love-Light that I am unconditionally forgives all the old selves, including this dear one with her doubts and fears.
“Welcome to the heart of Love, sweet one, “ I said. And in this Love, at home at last, she melted into me. Relieved of her burdens and separate no longer, cast out no more, now lovingly known and appreciated, not forgotten.
In this reunion we finally became one! She was no longer doomed to roam the earth hoping to cross paths with me along the way. Hoping I was ready to love. I’m ready! She can speak up anytime that her fear separates out of me and I will hear without concern, with wise knowing, and hold her in the forgiving, integrating Love I am.
The Forgiver of Impossible Things
I am the Forgiver. You are the Forgiver. We are the Forgivers of Impossible Things. That is the nature of the pure living Love and Light I am, you are, we are. Our betrayers, our inner critics, our out-of-integrity-selves – we are their Forgivers! The haters, the opposing political party, the virus, the vaccinated, the unvaccinated, the tyrants of our lives, the wrong-doers, the self-righteous – we are their forgivers!
The old patterns and fears, the “sins” and wounds of our past… and our present… we are their Lovers. That is one of the greatest works and wonders of our Light. Whenever the ravagers of pain and grief, of anger and guilt and shame, of blame and loss and contention rise up within us, know this: they have all come to us – to you, to me – for Love, for the Love we now know we are. They have come for our Love. Shall we withhold it? Should you?
No, no, dear Lover. Haul them up onto your lap, sit with them when they come, stroke their hair, welcome them home to Love, melt them in the Loving embrace that you are. Do this again and again, every time they come. For the forgivers of impossible things, this is the surrender of true forgiveness.
Know this joy! The next time an old specter shows up or a new anger at the world, remember you are its Lover. When a fear or judgment or a doubting-self crowds out reason and peace, remember you are the Forgiver of Impossible Things.
Whenever I return to this message I feel the transfusion of Love and am lifted by it. I feel so grateful for the workings of Light, of spirit, of Life itself, in all our lives. May all such gifts that have blessed us radiate from us in abundant sharing. That is my prayer.
PS – Throughout my book, We Are Light! you can experience many of the infusions of Mother Mary’s gifts of Love. They contain energies for walking in the fullness of Light while in physical form. The book is available on Amazon.