April 9, 2026
When I was in my 30s, one of my siblings asked me what I believed about some issue of the time. I don’t remember the issue but I remember I said I didn’t really have a belief about it. This caused them to look very shocked and ask why I was undecided.
“It’s not so much that I’m undecided,” I said, exploring the idea, “but I guess I don’t think I need beliefs about everything.”
Now they looked more shocked, and said, “My beliefs are the most important thing I have! How do you even know who you are if you don’t have beliefs!?”
“Oh! Well… I don’t think I can base my identity on beliefs because they change a lot over time… I no longer believe some of what I believed even 8 years ago.”
This brief exchange is very telling about our differences in approach. They have stayed with their beliefs and I’ve changed mine, often. This has given me a great sense of freedom and growth. But theirs give them a feeling of solidity and continuity that feels safe and certain.
However, it seems to me that when we identify deeply with our beliefs we get into trouble as a group. My religious versus yours, my political party vs yours. It’s so easy for things to polarize around ideas and beliefs.
When our beliefs harden into personal dogma we get brittle and unbending, judgmental and critical, strident and even harsh. It’s not a very life-affirming way to live.
Why is this important? Brittle beliefs interfere with creating the life we really want.
Thinking about this today made me realize it’s a good idea from time to time to wonder:
What beliefs am I carrying or defending that I would do well to loosen up about?
Which do I tend to get on ‘rants’ about?
Which of my beliefs make me contentious, separatist, brittle?
Which beliefs do I focus on that are suspicious or darkly pessimistic?
Which constantly unsettle me?
What beliefs do I have that carry me into frequencies that are not life-affirming?
Tending to these question can help us notice beliefs we may have that are too brittle to support a richly satisfying life. It’s something interesting to think about, it seems to me.
Ponderingly, 🤔
🥰 Mayet
