Disillusionment As a Path To Truth
September 11, 2025
Article highlights:
- Knowing what is true
- truth vs illusion
- like ice become oceans
Perhaps it is fitting that a writing about illusion vs truth arrive on the anniversary of September 11th in the U.S., a day that perhaps accelerated the questioning in our country about what is true. A time, as well, when illusion was on the rise within government.
In my morning musing time — with concern about the disillusionment I see setting in for so many people — my thoughts were interrupted by Wisdom with a more informed understanding. From there I wrote an article for us around the phrase I was given:
Here is an interesting truth: Disillusionment is necessary to spiritual growth and maturation because it requires beings to become grounded in truth.
A student becomes disillusioned with their spiritual teacher.
A young adult becomes disillusioned with their parent’s actions.
A religious person loses their faith.
A new-age spiritual seeker decides it’s all made-up baloney.
A citizen becomes disillusioned with their country or political beliefs.
A couple becomes disillusioned with their marriage.
These are all examples in which disillusionment causes a personal crisis that generally involves questioning one’s beliefs and worldview. It can be a difficult and dark time if it challenges core or favored beliefs or uproots personal identity. It’s no fun. It certainly doesn’t feel like a good thing to go through, does it?
This is an especially important line of questioning just now, when it seems as a country we are poised, on all sides, at the brink of crushing disillusionment. At its basis, though, disillusionment is an important part of personal growth and is vital to spiritual growth. How is this so?
We face loss of faith in leaders, beliefs, and systems that have seemingly kept us safe. We face loss of faith in those we have pinned our hopes on. Perhaps we even face loss of the ideals we have believed true about our country. Despair and apathy seem on the rise as a result—it is worrying. What good can come of this?
In each case, it is about discovering what is illusion and what is more real. Disillusionment strikes at the heart of what is unreal. If a marriage is built on fantasy about who the partner is, rather than on who the partner actually is, there must come the uncomfortable day when the veil falls from the eyes.
If a mentor or a spiritual teacher is chosen because the student wants someone else to have the answers so they feel safe, the day must come when the failure of the teacher to keep them safe leads to disillusionment. There comes a time when the religious person will question their faith and the new-age seeker will wonder if things they’ve been told are real because they have built these beliefs upon needs and fantasies of their mind. Disillusionment will result and can then open them to wonder about what is more real.
If the government of a country has lost its way and its power causes damage and harm and serves only the few, a time of disillusionment is not only inevitable—it is necessary. To change and grow, even citizens of a country must go through disillusionment, become willing to see what’s there, and learn where actions fall short of the original intention for good.
These crises that include disillusionment are needed because they require that those involved become more grounded in what is truth rather than illusion. To mature in healthy ways all countries, a marriages, groups, and individuals will experience disillusionment at times, to varying degrees.
You may be surprised to think that disillusionment is part of any rebirth process, but it is so. It is painful, it is messy, but like any birthing process, disillusionment leads to new life.
Dis-illusion — dissolving illusion—that’s what disillusionment amounts to. Like ice become oceans, our illusions must dissolve. Any illusion in the foundation of things will cause its inevitable crumbling. Thus, in any arc of growth and development, there will come the time when further maturation cannot occur until the illusions are replaced with greater truth.
Facing one’s disillusionment with integrity and bravery is a strength we all need to be resilient and remain healthy in mind, emotion, and spirit. It is painful and frightening when we face a challenge to our illusions. It can seem our very survival is at stake, our whole world threatened.
The ego doesn’t like it. The mind resists with false reasoning and proffers substitute stories that are further illusion. The process requires surrender; sometimes it requires “hitting the bottom.” That is the time to pray to see where we each hold attachments to illusion over truth. That is the time to call on our courage to replace illusion with higher truth.
That is the time we are in now—personally, as well as for those in the U.S. as a nation. And also in the world, because happenings in the U.S. have a ripple effect across the world. Disillusionment and the dissolving of illusion is a big part of what’s going on.
Knowing this, I can gain peace by noticing where I am attached to the story, where my beliefs feel challenged, and seeing if there is illusion in them. I can open to see my own illusions and thereby build a better foundation for my life. That is good for me, and it’s good for our world. There is great freedom and peace to be gained in this!
May the illusions I am attached to become clear to me, that I may release them in relief and gain greater joy. That is my prayer. Amama Ua Noa!
Love beyond illusion,
Mayet Leilani
What Is Ho’oponopono Really?
September 4 , 2025
Article highlights:
- Ho’oponopono defined
- 7 principles of ho’oponopono
- A healing pono prayer
I first visited Hawai‘i on a 30-day solo pilgrimage to mark my 30th birthday. I traveled across the various islands, and one day on a beautiful, somewhat remote beach on Maui, I met a Hawaiian elder and her grown nephew. She was instructing him in Hawaiian ways, and as we visited, she welcomed me into their conversation about healing.
That afternoon, she — “Auntie,” as she asked me to call her — spoke with us in depth about our conflicts with family members, leading us each toward honest self-assessment and the releasing of painful memories so we wouldn’t carry those heavy burdens anymore. Then she gave both her nephew and me a healing blessing. She chanted in Hawaiian and sprinkled us with ocean water from a frond she dipped in the waves.
I felt an overwhelming rush of loving energy stream into my heart, my whole body warming, tears welling in my eyes. Then Auntie walked quietly down the beach, leaving us to sit in silence, letting the prayer “be with us.” Before we parted, she placed a flower from her hair and a shell into my hands. I have treasured the little shell these many years.
That was my first introduction to ho‘oponopono, a series of teachings and practices for “setting things right” in yourself and with others. The word seemed mysterious then, yet it spoke to me deeply. Looking back, I realize how privileged I was to be included in what was one small part of a tradition of restoration for living in balance, one that has been preserved within Hawaiian tradition since ancient times.
Over the years, through conversations with elders and kahunas during extended stays in Hawai‘i, I have sought to better understand this wisdom of reconciliation — how we heal rifts, restore relationships, and return to wholeness. What I’ve learned so far is what I wish to share in part here.
Let me be clear: I am not a ho’oponopono kumu (teacher). I have not been formally trained, nor do I have the depth of knowledge about it that exists in the culture. What I offer is only what I have gleaned in hopes of gaining some benefit while honoring this tradition and not adding to the misunderstandings that surround it.
So — what is ho‘oponopono?
It is not, in fact, the forgiveness practice popularized in the West — the version that repeats the four phrases: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.“ While this has offered benefit to many, it is not ho‘oponopono. It can certainly be used effectively but should not be called ho‘oponopono. It is a forgiveness practice.
Forgiveness may be a part of the teaching, but it is not its focus. The true purpose of ho‘oponopono is always reconciliation. It seeks to achieve the peaceful resolution of conflict, and the restoration of balance between people. Traditionally, a trained kumu (master teacher) leads the process, guiding participants through specific teachings, prayers, and rituals that help uncover truth and restore harmony.
The word ho‘oponopono roughly translates as “to make right” or “to return to balance.” The process allows participants to release burdens — called pōhaku, or stones — so healing can occur. Central to the practice are self-honesty, humility, and other such values deeply rooted in Hawaiian culture. Historically, it has always been communal, between willing family or community members. It leads to learning to live together in better ways.
At its heart is the root word pono. Pono can be defined as goodness or harmony but it is more than this. Pono is a way of life. One learns to live pono. Living pono is a commitment to act with integrity, fairness, and respect, even when no one is watching. To “live pono” is to choose what is just and beneficial for both the individual and community.
Children in earlier times were taught these principles from birth — how to live in balance, how to restore harmony when things went awry, how to walk in the world with integrity. Imagine being raised in such a culture. What a gift of wisdom it would be to be immersed in this from the start.
Ho‘oponopono is often described as “setting one’s house in order” so that harmony can be restored. Through it, each person learns deep self-honesty, humility in conflict, and awareness of how one’s actions affect others. Ultimately, each participant agrees that, whatever has gone before, they will take full responsibility for preserving relationships going forward — by living pono.
To me, ho‘oponopono is also about restoring and supporting the frequency of reconciliation in our lives and world; even the word carries that frequency.
My goodness, how we need this just now, right? To help us integrate the frequency of reconciliation in our own lives and world, I’ve pulled together the ho‘oponopono principles I’ve gleaned so far as being important to becoming reconciled with others.
Keep in mind these are not the only core principles of ho‘oponopono, only the ones I have learned over time. Ho‘oponopono itself is a layering of teachings, rituals, and ceremonies specific to Hawaiian culture.
Core Principles
- Reconciliation — the true aim of ho‘oponopono is not forgiveness alone but the restoration of harmony and right relationship.
- Release of Burdens (pōhaku) — letting go of what weighs down the heart, so healing can move freely.
- Truthful Self-Assessment — becoming deeply self-honest, humble, and aware of one’s actions and their impact on others.
- Taking Responsibility — each person choosing to carry responsibility for maintaining relationships going forward.
- Living Pono — embodying integrity, fairness, and balance as a way of life, not just a momentary practice.
- Communal Healing — recognizing that this healing is not solitary; it is about restoring the health of relationships in families and communities.
- Sacred Guidance — honoring the role of elders, prayers, and ceremony in helping people move toward wholeness.
A Prayerful Affirmation in the Spirit of Ho‘oponopono
Here is a short prayer-like affirmation drawn from the principles above. It can be spoken inwardly, or aloud, as a way of aligning with the heart of ho‘oponopono:
A Prayer of Reconciliation
May I forgive and release the burdens I carry.
May I let go of all that weighs my heart down.
May I feel reconciled with those I have hurt or who have hurt me.
May I see myself truthfully, but with compassion and humility.
May I, going forward, take total responsibility for my actions and their effects on my life and others.
May the ancestors and wisdom-carriers guide me and light my way.
May I live “pono” — with honesty, integrity, balance, and care for others.
May harmony be restored within me, among us, and between us.
Perhaps there is nothing more important to support in our lives, and in our country, right now than the frequency of reconciliation, right?
May we take inspiration from this teaching. May we seek in our own hearts how the spirit of ho‘oponopono might guide us toward greater balance and reconciliation in our own relationships. That is my prayer.
I’m sending you love today,
Mayet Leilani
CREDIT — The wonderful photo is by Robert Frutos and is of Kalei I‘iliahu, who was a dear friend to us both. May the ancestors bless you on your journey in spirit, dear one.
What Do Your Values and Your Imagination have in Common?
August 28, 2025
What do you value most? I have asked this question of people around the world — people of many different races, ages, religions, and politics. The answers are the same. Throughout the world the similarity of the things we value is one of our strongest commonalities.
Time and again, people from all cultures listed the following among the things they value most: peace, freedom, family, friends, love, environment, quality of life, spiritual beliefs, financial sufficiency, service to others, fulfilling work, education, beauty, kindness, goodness, authenticity, honesty, wisdom, hope.
These are what we value, and yet our worlds can seem so different, often lacking enough of what we value most. Why?
Naturally it follows that we would do well to ask which values we are living. Are we, perhaps, living our ego values by bickering and gossiping? Is intense judgment of ourselves and others the value we express most? If we value family most or friends, or our spiritual life, but have no time for them, what are we really valuing?
In truth, what we are living out is what we are valuing most. And what we value most is what we begin to actually imagine into the world. The relationship between what I value and what I imagine has always interested me.
Going back to the common values we share around the world:
Imagine your personal boundaries expressing your better values — what would that look like?
Imagine yourself living your higher political values. That’s novel to explore!
Imagine your daily mundane being more expressive of your higher values. What would that be for you? Would you wake differently? Care for your home differently? Interest yourself in different things in your random thoughts?
What are you valuing into being?
We can actually do this to an amazing degree, can’t we, this imagining? I think we are discovering this now and as a result our own lives are changing, beginning to reflect more of our better values. This feels great to us.
Many, many people are doing this now — imagining and reimagining such things into existence. No matter what the nay-sayers would like to spread abroad, it is happening. And it does have far-reaching results.
Think of the ordinary people you know who live more elevated values. We each have friends, coworkers, schoolteachers, neighbors, church leaders and acquaintances who are living higher values — they are living more of their innate goodness. Look for them, they are there. They are not doing it perfectly but they are many parts of their lives better.
In many cases our work, friendships, families etc. are beginning to change; our lives and our world are transforming. As the singer, John Lennon, so beautifully suggested long ago we are now imagining the world better.
What things of greater value are you imagining into being?
May the world begin to reflect what we truly hold most dear. This is my prayer and my aim for our world. It is in this that our hearts are truly joined, I know, and I love you each for this camaraderie we share.
Thanks a thousand thanks for this wonderful dance together and enjoy the coming days as you turn ever more joyously to your determination to imagine your most essential Self into being.
Hugs,
Mayet Leilani