A Very Interesting Point About Opening Your Heart

Article Highlights:

• What the subconscious thinks about it
• The game changer for opening the heart

Dear Opening Heart,

We talk about opening our hearts, we place a high value on having an open heart with others, we think we should live open-heartedly, we try to do so with varying degrees of success. And do we succeed?

Not perhaps as much as we like. So what’s that about? I was pondering this the other day and happened upon something interesting that I thought you might find interesting too.

We do value heart openness and we’ve even adopted it as a should. Moving deeper in inquiry about it, however, I found an inconvenient truth there – buried in my humanity and yours.

We value it at an intellectual level and hold a sincere belief about it and we do enjoy many moments of heart-warming-openess. BUT we do not believe it’s a wise way to live. We do NOT believe – at deeply subconscious levels – that it is in any way wise or safe to live that way. We do not.

This limits our ability to live in more open-hearted ways, no matter how strong our desire is to live that way. So we are then stuck earnestly striving to. Hard work, 😓 all that striving. Ugh, lol.

When I became willing see what was there instead of what I wanted to be there, that’s what I found. It explained a lot. And it exposed one of those spiritual idea areas where quite a lot of strain has become part of it.

It’s a bit of a classic failure set-up because of the falling short of an ideal, which leads to self-criticism, creating stress and expending a lot of energy. If you think about it, we set up this kind of scenario about a lot of our spiritual ideas – they become shoulds. But that’s another matter.

The truth is that at the core of this matter there’s a strong survival instinct: you simply don’t expose your soft underbelly. Why? It’s a sign of subservience. And it can be downright dangerous, that exposure to other’s teeth.

Thus, we are somewhat parsimonious about opening our hearts to others. A little stingy. We dole it out rather carefully. There are a lot of rules around it.

I’m not going to elaborate on them because I know you can easily drop into the truth about what being human is really like regarding this.

In fact, we’re extremely selective about opening our hearts. Not during arguments, or even disagreements, nope, nope, nope. The ego is very engaged in protecting us then and it’s also not remotely interested in losing the argument because of whimpy open-heartedness. Oh, and no open-heartedness with people who don’t deserve it either, nope. Bless our pointed little heads, haha. It’s such a funny thing, this being human.

As often is the case, there’s some wisdom in our instinct not to open and if there’s going to be change in this, our subconscious doesn’t want another ideal. It wants to know we have the right level of discernment to be wise and open.

To live open-heartedly feels incredibly vulnerable if others aren’t. The psyche – which is a bit of a nervous Nelly – worries about that. And we already pointed out what our Ego is up to in this. Then there’s the consistent world training that has taught us what a bad idea it is, and our own personal experience that’s convinced us just what a bad idea it really is. Plus our sub-conscious needs us to have discernment skills before it lowers the guard at all.

So it’s a quadruple-triple-double bind. And a real conundrum. A nice riddle to solve. The solution lies in recognizing that while I want to live more open-hearted and I do strive to do so, and am even doing better and better at it, I really don’t believe it or trust it, and I really Do Not intend to do so to the extent I imagine I do.

Admitting that, I let myself feel the extent of my actual resistance. From there, I can finally begin to ask the right questions rather than endlessly strive after yet another should.

Only then can I start to learn what on earth living open-heartedly means, as a human. What it IS. And what it looks and feels like to live that way. It needs an honest self-dialogue.

Before I go for today, here’s something else very important to know about being open-hearted living. It’s the real game-changer.

Open-heartedness is a frequency, not an ideal to strive for.

It’s a frequency. The heart’s elevated frequency. Matching a frequency is a very different thing than trying and trying to be more open-hearted, it’s much easier. It’s an accessible frequency, it’s already there, built-in, for us to access. Plus, the subconscious doesn’t resist frequency in the same way it resists other change. And that’s something very interesting to ponder.

Which I’ll leave in your capable hands.
Feels like a nice thing to share with you today,
Love, as always,

~ 💜 Mayet Leilani