April 10, 2025

In 2020 I had an unusual accidental conversation with a young man on Zoom.  We were both early for an online event and ended up somehow seeing and being able to talk to each other, so we did.  

They mentioned that their pronoun was “they” and asked me if I was a 20-year old now, would I choose different pronouns?

I hadn’t considered this before.  But my answer came quickly and surprised me.  Yes, I realized, I would.  I would identify as “we.”  Not the royal We, the composite “we.”

In fact, I sort of always have.  From the time I was young I felt like both me and we.  Not to worry, I wasn’t mentally ill; I had a clear sense of self.  But I was simply always aware of those who walk with me, as I came to refer to them.  They were family.  And together we were the board of ME.  We all had a seat at the table and “I” was the one in charge.  Still do, still am.

I think that’s why I so quickly answered as I did with the sound man on Zoom.  It was fun to think about and was nice to realize.  I suspect that many of you also say that your personal pronoun is also we, now that we’re thinking about it, right? 

Feeling very “we” with thee,
And sending love (and a wink),
Mayet Leilani 

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