Article Highlights:

  • Friends come and go
  • Sometimes most of them leave at once
  • Making new friends

Image of fairy girl and squirrelApril will be the last month of my $69 session special. In May they will return to $130 per session. For information about my sessions scroll to end of article.

I’m on Double Digits with Adironnda and Company, Marilyn Harper and Joeaux Robey. May 5, 2022 (5/5/22) 6p Pacific, 8p Central, 9p Eastern. You can sign-up here. To learn more, read this recent blog that tells about the experience I had recording the Double Digits program. It also includes a lovely Heart of Message that came for that day.

Dear friends, old and new,

We’ve established that friends come and go. Sometimes it’s through argument or disagreement, as we discussed last time. Other times it might be death, moving or marriage that affect our friendships. Life circumstances such as great success, divorce, or having a child also impact friendships dramatically.

Sometimes, periods of growth or spiritual awakening can cause big changes in our friend network. When we grow and change a great deal – or when our friends do – a friendship may no longer be a match. Whatever the reason, it’s seldom easy when we find ourselves with a shortage of friends. When this happens we may feel lonely or unsupported.

Just as Covid began, I settled in a place where, while not entirely new to me, I had few close local friends. I’d done this many times on WalkAbout, landing in a new place, knowing only one or no others and having to make friends.

However, moving to Oklahoma City just as Covid started created an unusual situation for me, most of my friends were now virtual, spread along my WalkAbout path around the world. And making new friends had now become complicated by Covid. I sometimes felt lonely.

On WalkAbout, I’d discovered there were two types of in-person friendships needed each time I changed location. The first was at least one or two persons I could develop deep ties with. The second was a larger group of friends I could enjoy and share a support group with. Both were vital and I found them fairly easily on WalkAbout.

My hosts generally became close friends, if they weren’t already and their network generally provided additional friends. But if not, I interacted at farmer’s markets, great places for both meeting interesting people and hearing of community events and groups that I could attend to meet others.

So it was easy all those years, but it’s quite different at this time. Now, in addition to Covid or your current circumstances, this is a time of shifting friendships. The age of Aquarius is upon us and with it comes its increased focus on finding one’s tribe, developing community and support systems, and making new friends. Which means most of us have the question of friends and community on our minds.

Making new fiends isn’t necessarily easy though. This isn’t actually an article listing a lot of ways to go about that. I’ve wanted to discuss the current need for so many of us to engage and create new circles. And the real need to get back out there and be together in person.

I googled the topic for us though and found tons of suggestions of course. I landed on this article that I felt was especially good. It has 102 terrific short tips about this and it’s worth a look. Many were useful and some made me smile.

However, during my 12 wandering years, I did develop three WalkAbout guidelines that I tasked myself with so I could feel connected and supported in each location and enriched by friends. Here’s my three tips for making new friends – I think you’ll find them interesting.

  • Don’t just look for similarities or like-mindedness such as same age, spiritual beliefs or politics. Some of my best friends live in very different worlds than my own. I like that. Why would I want everyone to be like me? I get bored with my own company.
  • Understand what your real need is: what is it you are longing for? One or two close friends? A spiritual community? In-person contact? A support system? A following? New clientele? Each of these are very different people needs. What feels missing and why? It’s good to know what you need and why you need it so you attract what’s most real for you. Maybe you lost your best friend, your spiritual confidant and playpal. Or maybe you lost someone who was a fabulous healer or wisdom carrier and it’s that you miss. Be clear with yourself about what is missing in your relationship/friendship deck so you don’t create confusion for yourself.
  • You have to put yourself out there, be uncomfortable, and make the effort. I have a friend who’s very good at making new friends. What she’s good at is striking up random conversations with people, being interested, sharing info about herself, asking good questions. It comes natural to her, so she’s always talking about a new friend she just made. Some of those connections develop a lot, some only a little, but over time it all adds up to a wide circle of local friends and acquaintances and a feeling of being known and supported in life. But that doesn’t happen if you stay at home feeling lonely and wishing for more friends. You have to open up. And make yourself available. Which often means moving past a story of loneliness or mistrust or yada yada yada. Those things present personal challenges but they are not barriers. Best not to use them as excuses.

Because I’m more of an introvert, number 3 never ever comes easy to me. I have to make myself do it knowing I’ll be uncomfortable and feel awkward. It’s always so rewarding when I strike up conversations but it doesn’t come natural to me. I have to just “man up” and do it anyway.

It’s the same for going to local events and groups – I’m a homebody and a contemplative much more than a group/gathering or party person. So the same thing applies, I have to just get over it and do it anyway. After all, how can I meet anyone if I don’t go anywhere? I can’t.

If I don’t get out there, serendipity can’t activate to bring a little magic to the process either. Serendipity needs us to be engaged! If we are isolating, moping or wallowing, serendipity slows to a trickle.

I’m in this process now, reaching out more, showing up more. It’s even harder since Covid gave us all such a good excuse to avoid all that. But the need and necessity is upon us. So if you’ll get up and out there and find your new peeps or engage with your community, I will too. Deal?

Giving you a nudge and a hug for the task,
~ X💜Mayet Leilani
If you have resistant patterns or pressing questions and concerns that are interfering with your joy, my new NorthStar special is a good session for you. If you have health concerns, it’s a great session for healing. If you have a goal or project you’d like to explore or you want to understand your current focus and direction better, it’s a good session for these too.
The other session for the special price is my Bardo Session which is a Ceremonial Session for leaving the patterns of the past behind. It’s a profound clearing and reboot at many levels of your being. Each session is 50 mins and is currently offered at the special price of $69. For more information about either session, or to schedule, Write to me at MayetLeilani@icloud.com

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