Aloneness – Exploring Your Personal Wormhole of Inverse Singularity

Article Highlights:

• Alone still?
• Scary campfire stories
• Can you find god in a martini?

Dear Solo Artist,

A friend wrote a bunch of VCool stuff in an email recently and started me thinking. One of the things she talked about was being alone.  Along the way she said that sometimes Absolute martinis and aloneness go together nicely, mostly joking.

However, she did more seriously suggest we could all don a nice little black dress, put on some red lipstick, and go out for a martini alone more often.  And she said Hemingway wrote his greatest work after a martini.  Might not work for me, however.

I’m not much of a drinker you see, but I do have a nice black dress and some red lipstick that I don’t wear often enough. As I mentioned, it got me thinking.  What it lead to was thinking about being alone vs. feeling alone.  Something to think about right now especially, right?

There’s a funny thing about alone, isn’t there?  It’s a bit of a trick word.  As my friend went on to say, we are all alone.  True enough.  Husbands, friends, children… everyone comes and goes.  But we are only constant to ourselves. 

So yes, we are alone.  But.  Life is nothing if not a conundrum – that puzzle that happens when two or more apparently conflicting things seem to be true simultaneously.  So it’s equally true that we are not alone.  Ever.  It’s not possible.  We can only engage in the illusion that we are.  

As we all know, though, we can engage in that deeply.  Fully.  We can feel very convinced and even go extreme with this.  Until eventually it wears on us, at which point it becomes frightening.  

Then, like children who’ve been scaring themselves telling ghost stories and shrieking around the campfire at summer camp, we start to seek comfort and safety.  That search leads us straight into the conundrum.  

We are alone, we know this because sometimes no one is there for us and we feel very alone.  But.  Truly we are not alone, never were, never will be.  Nope.  Can’t possibly be alone.  We are much more than our aloneness, our singularity.  We forget this because we live in “The Deep Forget.”

It’s worth repeating: we are much more than our scary campfire stories of singularity.  Yes, we are so much more than our wonderful, important wisdom building, wounding, elating adventures in The Deep Forget.

The scary campfire stories seem so real.  Our emotions go crazy, and our bodies can’t tell it’s not real and we forget ourselves and it gets very noisy in our head and then we feel so alone and in the dark. 

Until we remember: the scary campfire stories can be sort of fun, and they can terrify, but they are just stories, and we are much more than our stories.  Remembering this causes the noise in our head to stop, or at least to slow way down.  It’s such a relief!

That’s when a fuller truth can dawn on us and we find ourselves in new territory, one that includes all territory.  We, the discoverers, solo artists of singularity, seemingly alone in our discovery while being in the company of Everything and Everyone else – in the company of All.  

This includes the company of anyone you wish was here right now.  It also includes those who have gone before, and those who follow.  It is a fullness of company.  In the fullness we discover our own land.

Each explorer discovers this land anew, as though it has never been stumbled upon before.  There’s a reason it seems like that.  The new land is an inner land, we can only go there alone.Once there, however, we discover it’s the connection to all.   

So. Alone and not alone – walking this in balance.  The balance.  Moving between the singularity of the self, our group nature, and the fullness of All that we are.  

That’s a new and wonderful adventure. Like walking the high wire. Eventually, however, we begin to strike our balance, catch our stride, and find our sweet spot in the walk-o-balance. That’s when we integrate the worlds.

We are simultaneously perfectly alone, singular, and we are fullness itself.

At this point, we become incredibly useful to our own universe, which includes our singular world, and the human/earth group world, and The Universe, and of course the cosmos and beyond.  The good and bad of it all.  Everything.

This is very cool, as all those laughing sages have said – those wise fools who have gone before us into the inverse singularity.  They come out on the other side of their own personal wormhole, into the vastness, the fullness.  Then they enfold that vast fullness back into the singularity of their being.  Integrated.  VCool.  This is what we can do.

Then what?  Maybe we use the red lipstick, don that cute little black dress, (or white shirt and jeans, guys) and go alone to the martini bar.  Anything could happen.  Maybe Hemingway was on to something: in every martini, a thimbleful of enlightenment?  They say alcohol dilates and opens things and fires up neurons and dendrites… do you think God can be found in a martini?  I’d say that’s a whole other conundrum for another day.

For today though, bottoms up and blessings to boot.

And always Love,

X♥️MaHuLiLi

PS – There are people who in fact are very alone, in need of friends and support, isolated by illness, death, depression, life patterns etc. Loneliness can be very real, damaging, and they don’t need high level spiritual understandings, they need touch and caring.  We are the antidote to their loneliness… let’s not forget to reach out to each other, to be friendly.  It really matters; it really helps.  And it’s not an either this/or either that world that we live in.  Real loneliness and aloneness are very different things.