Article Highlights:
- Just friends
- Sex friends
- Divine friends
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Dear reader/thinker friend,
After choosing the topic for this article, I was curious and googled “types of friends.” There were many opinions of course. I was thinking about basic categories but most listed qualities of friends rather than types of friends.
For instance, one list included Fair weather friend, Fake friend, Fickle friend and For-now friend. Another listed: best friend, listener, the fun one, the loyal coworker, the wise one, crazy one, honest one, long-term one, gossipy one. I came across a list that added: fierce friend, family friend, work friend, the friend you admire. And I found Aristotle’s rather short list of 3 types of friendships: friendships of pleasure, utility and of virtue.
Some lists used rhyme, such as “Must friends, Trust friends, Rust friends and Just friends;” or “Friends for a reason, friends for a season, friends for life.” One listing of types of friends gave stages rather than categories: Acquaintance, new friend, confirmed friend, close friend, best friend, and peer.
Though not what I had in mind, I found all these interesting for our consideration. They prompted useful pondering for me. I was thinking of types or categories of friends, however. Many of the above could apply to one or more categories of friend. To show what I mean, here are the categories I had in mind:
9 Types of Friends
1) Familial friendships – not all family members are really friends, but some certainly are.
2) Acquaintances – we all have many acquaintances that take on aspects of friendship. People we see semi-frequently such as the dry cleaner or a store clerk, the person who mows the lawn, one’s chiropractor, etc. are an important part of our “friendly” support group. Friendliness is important in our lives. Over time these people often become more than mere acquaintances, and some may graduate to the next category.
3) Friends – This is the group of people we consider closer friends. We generally have both an outer and inner circle of friends. This group doesn’t stay the same, it shifts and changes over time, occasionally even changing entirely.
4) Sexual friendships – this is often referred to as “friends with benefits.” Not everyone has these types of friends. And not all sexual relationships are friends either, lol.
5) Co-workers/associates – generally (preferably) there’s at least one co-worker who’s also in the closer friend category, not always though. If not, associates are still an important category for friendly relations.
6) Teacher/mentor/client/student/protégée – these can be very meaningful friendships of short or long duration.
7) Geographic friends – people like neighbors, roommates, landlord, classmates, car pool. We may enjoy an important, enjoyable friendship for the time but not keep in touch when we or they move, though some deepen. I think social media friendships might fit here as well, being virtually geographic.
8) Brotherhood/sisterhood – I couldn’t think of a singular name for this type of friendship but it is an important one. Comrades in arms have an intense sense of brotherhood, for example. As do many people in shared community, religious orders, at church and so forth. Such friendships also occur among those who share experiences that form bonds more quickly and deeply than usual. I hear so many people talking about, longing for friends in community right now that I’m elaborating on this here.
A unique type of friendship can grow out of shared commitments, vows, beliefs and goals. In community, for instance, you won’t be equally close to everyone but may have strong general feelings of love and commitment toward each and to the group. The group bond can help overcome personality differences when prioritized.
Interestingly, I think people may be longing for this type of friendship when they speak of wanting to form or be part of a shared community. I think we may imagine a type of group friendship that offers caring, support and shared interests, in multiples. We can have a very cozy feeling when imagining these type of friendships – and they can be very rewarding – but they’re as much work (or more) and face the same pitfalls of all friendships.
This type of friendship can be unusual and quite special however. I have an small email group I’ve been in for 22 years now. It started around a short term project but continued after because we all enjoyed the level of trust and intimacy that had developed. There are 7 of us who have been sharing consistently since early 2000, through every kind of personal change and challenge. Most of us have not even actually met each other – one is in South Africa, another in Denmark, for instance. Only recently, when we began to meet on Zoom occasionally, have we had a semblance of that. It works just great as an email group and there are things I can share there that I couldn’t anywhere else.
I also have a famous friend who has met monthly for many years with a small group of other high-visibility friends. They can relate to, share, and support each other within their unusual lives in ways that few could. They’ve been meeting so long – 60 years now – that their group of 6 has dwindled to three as members have died.
9) Divine Friendships – Friends through LifeTimes – These are friends who have carried through more than one lifetime. Next week my article will be about this category of friends.
Hmmm… there isn’t exactly a category for the type of friendship we have here, is there? We could squeeze it into #7, perhaps? Ah well, no matter, not everything needs categorizing… I enjoy our relationship none-the-less.
Sharing Light with you,
X💜Mayet MaHulili Leilani
PS – If you have resistant patterns or pressing questions and concerns that are interfering with your joy, my new special is a good session for you. If you have health concerns, it’s a great session for healing. If you have a goal or project you’d like to explore, or you want to understand your current focus and direction better, it’s a good session for these too. Until the end of February, the session is only $69. Write me at MayetLeilani@icloud.com for information or to schedule.
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